The expression “grow up” is often used on adults who physically have already grown up but whose maturing process has been stunted. There can be a number of reasons for this, but one of them is the lack of separation from a parent or from both parents.

    Some young people never grow up because they are grossly overprotected by their parents. The parents, under the guide of loving their kids, keep doing things for them that they can and should do for themselves. They go all out to keep them from experiencing hardship when hardship is required of them.

    Like parents who do homework for their children. Parents who do not allow their boys to do any work around the house, and who shield them from the negative consequences of their actions. Like the parents who rush to the school to defend their boy when he has broken rules. Or those who even join in a conspiracy with the child to cheat.

    Every time parents do anything when it concerns their kids, they are sending them messages. These messages can be positive or negative. They can empower the child or cut him down. They can raise his self-esteem or lessen it. When a parent does the homework for the kid, the child knows it’s cheating. He knows it isn’t his grade that he’s getting and his self-esteem is not raised one bit. The massage he gets is that it’s okay to cheat. If mom can do it, it must be all right.

    The father who fixes the speeding ticket for his son tells him that laws can be broken without consequences. Instead, if a parent wants to send a positive message he can let the boy pay the ticket with his own money and then not allow him to drive for a couple of weeks. That should tell the boy that he cannot get away with breaking the law.

    Parents must not show what I call indiscriminate loving. They must not show love when their children misbehave. They must not reward negative behavior.

    Some parents do not understand that what they teach in the home will reflect in the way their offspring behave in society. And when they do not live by the rules, there will be trouble, sometimes big trouble.

    It is amazing what overprotective parents allow their children to do. They let grown men hang around the house and go out with their friends after dropping out of school. Instead of forcing them to get a job, these parents actually finance the pleasure-seeking ways of their children.

    We see men in their thirties, forties, and older who remain totally dependent on their parents. These are not physically incapacitated people. They lead totally irresponsible lives and their parents are the main reason why they can do so.

    It is truly quite amazing to see parents let it happen for years on end, even as their sons and daughters go downhill. It is as if they continue to hold hands while their adult children deteriorate. As if frozen, they cannot seem to act to reverse the process.