Someone once asked me what are some of the most important values that a parent can teach his kids. I said that values are very personal matters. Not everyone shares the same values. Still there are many values that I hope my own daughters assimilate and hold onto till the day they die because I truly believe that these values will lead them to a happy life.

     The first is to never forget God in good times as well as bad times. We tend to neglect our obligations to God when things are going well and rush to Him when we have a problem. I would want them not to be “fair weather friends” to God. If they can stay close to Him during good times, they will be able to better handle the bad times.

     I want them to learn the joys of serving others. I would hope they continue to work for the poor and disadvantaged and not retreat into their own little world. It is in giving of oneself that one receives. It is in sharing that they will experience incredible joy. I would want them to be convinced that the road to unhappiness is paved with selfishness.

     I want them to understand that in order to be loved deeply, they need to choose carefully. Patience and good judgment is absolutely necessary in making the right choice of a partner. They should know that the good feelings that love always generates are not enough to carry a couple through life. They need to understand that even relationships that are poisonous can be very happy, but only for a while.

     They must choose a partner who has a proven track record when it comes to self discipline, fidelity, responsible living and love of children. They must avoid at all costs a man who believes in the double standard because they can never have an equal relationship with him. And since I have taught them to insist on a level playing field, they should shy away from the man who cannot respect their rights as equal partners.

     As such, I pray that they never tolerate infidelity. To do so will only encourage more disloyalty and there will be no end to their misery and loss of self-esteem.

     I hope they believe me when I urge them to never allow themselves to be held as “financial hostages” by a man. They must always be ready to support themselves and their children if necessary.

     I have told them a thousand times that loves is not invincible. Therefore it must be nurtured and guarded. They must never take it for granted, especially when it is going well. They should pay close attention to potential problems and be quick to respond so as to prevent them from getting out of hand. Prevention is always easier than correction. I hope they never forget that.

     I have told them over and over again that in love they only control two letters. Their partners owns the other two. And two letters is never enough. If ever they get trapped in an impossible relationship that is destroying them, they should have the courage and self-confidence to get out and start a new life instead of sinking deeper and deeper into the quicksand of despair. Each sunrise brings hope of a better day. Their lives are too precious to live them in silent desperation.