Part 1 of 4 parts

He was 16 years old and in deep trouble with his father, an officer in the Air Force. The two just could not get along. The reason: the boy said that he was a gay. The dad could not accept that his only son was a homosexual. That is why I was called in to talk to the boy.

The youngster told me that ever since he could remember, he had never been attracted to girls. He talked about how he longed for the company of boys and how he was sexually attracted to them. In fact, he had a number of sexual experiences with guys.

His dad was furious with him and never lost the opportunity to put him down. He even called him “faggot.” The gap between them was growing by the day and nothing short of him somehow reversing his behavior could ever bring peace to the two of them.

The mother was caught between them. She loved her son even if she was mystified about what was happening to him. She hoped for some kind of miracle that would change her boy and let him “be like other boys.” The alienation of the father and son was tearing her apart. Her son’s sexual orientation was a never-ending topic of conversation. She implored her husband to be more understanding and more accepting of his son, but this was only met with hostility on his part. Being an officer in the military and having a gay son was, for him, simply was not acceptable. He could never live with him. In short, he was deeply ashamed of his only child and openly admitted that he wished that he had never been born.

When a child is born, there is a great deal of expectations that arise. The happy couple form dreams for the future of their precious baby. He or she will be given the best that they can afford and the hope is that the child will grow up to make the parents proud.

As the years pass and the couple begin to suspect that perhaps their son is not like the other boys or their daughter, is too much of a tomboy for their comfort, a sense of dread sets in. This is true for just about every couple. Rare are those parents who, from the beginning, are predisposed to accepting the reality of a gay child. The truth is that parents are simply not ready to deal with such a situation. They don’t know what to do, how to react to the child and to friends and relatives. It is something they never expected. It is as if their worst nightmare has become a reality.